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The fact is, best intentions are not good enough. It takes more than good intentions. So we’ve been talking about fulfilling your life mission. Last week we talked about the habits and skills you need to sustain your life mission.
There’s at least one problem with that. It’s difficult to develop good habits. It’s hard. It’s easy to develop bad ones but it’s difficult to develop good habits. So you need support. It’s always easier to learn something new when you learn it with somebody helping you – a partner, a friend, a coach, somebody encouraging you.
How do I support my mission? This morning I want to specifically give you four relationships that you must develop if you’re going to become all that God wants you to be, if you’re going to fulfil your life mission.
I want to suggest that you need models, you need mentors, you need partners and you need friends…
If you don’t get anything else I say this morning, get this because this is the message in a sentence:
The quality of your life will be determined by the relationships that you choose to develop
1. I NEED MODELS THAT INSPIRE ME.
Of course Jesus is the ultimate model for our lives.
John 13:15 “I’ve given you an example to follow. Do as I’ve done to you.”
Jesus is our ultimate model for life. But He was perfect and you’re not. Paul understood this and in Philippians he says
Philippians 3:17 (Living Bible) “Pattern your lives after mine.”
Have you ever used a pattern in sewing or woodworking? If you’ve ever done any sewing you probably have. When you use a pattern it’s faster, it’s easier and you make fewer mistakes. We always learn quicker and we always learn better by models. It is human nature to learn by imitation.
1 Thessalonians 1:7 “You became imitators of us and of the Lord… and so you became a model for all the believers.”
As a baby growing up, everything you learned you learned by imitation. There’s only one problem with that. As a child you didn’t get to choose your models. You had no choice.
Put downs? Workaholism? Avoidance, do a runner? Negativity!
The good news is this: you can change your model. Now that you’re an adult you can choose what you’re going to model your life after. You can re-pattern and you can re-program and you can re-parent yourself through the Scriptures and reading biographies and tapes and seminars and conferences and personal contact with good models in your life. But you’ve got to take the time to identify who they are.
For years it was said that no human being could ever run faster than a four-minute mile. They said humanly speaking the body is not made to run that fast. Nobody will ever do it. Until one day Roger Bannister ran a mile in under four minutes. All of a sudden the barrier was broken. Then within one year twelve other people had already broken that same barrier. It’s no big deal today. Why? Because a model showed that it could be done.
Who are your models?
Who’s my model in parenting? In money management? In spirituality? In my career? Know those people and write them down. That’s the first key. But you need more than models.
So you need models in your life that inspire you.
2. I NEED MENTORS to advise me
What is a mentor? A mentor is a personal coach. A mentor is a trusted counsellor. A mentor is a trainer.
We all need personal coaches and trainers. Historically, in Christianity, these were called spiritual directors. If you were to study throughout church history you’d find that for centuries people would have what they called spiritual directors. They would say, “Would you be my personal coach in my Christian life? Would you help me to get training to grow as a believer, to grow spiritually?”
What does a mentor do? A mentor brings out the best in you. They keep you growing. They help you in three areas. They keep you with your roles, they help your goals, and they help you with your soul.
It’s interesting that in some professions we’ve always had mentors. In medicine, doctors mentor younger doctors. In music, musicians mentor other musicians. I got on the Internet this week and typed in the word “mentor” and found out that all kinds of organizations are now using the mentoring process. The military is now doing mentoring. Insurance salesmen now have programs for mentoring. Management people, sales people, all kinds of different organisations. It’s amazing all the articles on mentoring that are in vogue. Why? Because we learn best by models and mentors.
Proverbs 19:20 “Get all the advice you can and be wise the rest of your life.”
Proverbs 15:22 says “Plans fail for lack of counsel but with many advisors they succeed.”
There’s two ways that you can get the most out of a mentor.
1. Ask questions.
Proverbs 20:5 “Counsel in the heart of man is like a deep well but a man of understanding will draw it out.”
How do you handle stress?
What have been the greatest successes in your life and what are the causes of it?
What were the greatest failures in your life?
What would you do differently if you were doing over?
What kind of books do you read?
How do you manage your time?
How do you manage your money?
What have been the greatest lessons you’ve learned?
What have been the greatest surprises in your life?”
2. accept feedback.
Ecclesiastes 7:5 says, “It’s better to be criticised by a wise man than praised by a fool.”
Proverbs 25:12 (Living Bible)“It is a badge of honor to accept valid criticism.”
So you need models in your life that inspire you, I need Mentors to advise me, and
3. I NEED PARTNERS THAT ASSIST ME
I’m talking about co-workers, team mates, helpers, a network of people that are committed to a similar life mission.
If you are committed to living a Purpose Driven Life, you’re in a very elite group. And I congratulate you.
You’re in the 1% of the nation.
Most of the people around you are going to do nothing about what we’ve talked about in the last seven or eight weeks. It only goes in one ear and out the other.
When you’re climbing a mountain you better choose your partners carefully. Because you’re tied to them. If they go, guess what? You’re going to! You’re hooked in to them. You better tie yourself into some partners who will support you in developing the habits and skills and relationships that you need to really make your life count.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two are better off than one because together they work more effectively. If one falls down the other can help him up. If someone is alone there is no one to help him up.”
Romans 12:5 (Living Bible) “We are all parts of Christ’s Body, and it takes every one of us to make it complete, for we each have different work to do. So we belong to each other, and each needs all the others.”
Jesus – the 12…
The truth is God has designed an organization to give you the partners you need. It’s called the church. The church was designed to help you fulfil your life mission. That’s why you cannot become all that God wants you to be without tying into a local church and saying, “That’s going to be my family. That’s going to be my fellowship. That’s going to be my team.
You hear me talking about small groups over and over until you get tired of it. When everybody’s in one I’ll probably stop talking about it.
Success is rarely a solo adventure. You can’t do it alone. If you get models and mentors and partners.
If you’re going to make it to the finish line, if you’re going to finish your life mission you need models to inspire you, mentors to advise you, partners that assist you and you
4. I NEED FRIENDS THAT SUPPORT ME
One good friend is worth a thousand acquaintances. You didn’t get to choose your relatives, you’re stuck with them. But you do get to choose your friends. The best friend will give you three things that you need.
1. They give you emotional support
Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times and helps in times of trouble.”
2. They will give you intellectual support
Proverbs 13:20 “He who walks with the wise grows wise…”
They make you think. They stimulate you. They don’t dumb down you. They get you to go and to be creative.
3. They give you spiritual support
They build up your spirit, they don’t tear it down. They draw you closer to Jesus, not further away.
Hebrews 10:24 “Let us spur on one another to love and good deeds.”
You need someone who’ll pray with you and pray for you. You say, “That’s great. I’d love to have a friend like that. How do I get a friend like that?” Be one. I attract what I am.
I know this is going to be difficult for some of you but I need to say it, if you’re serious about living a life Guided by Your Cosmic Mission, there maybe some relationships in your life right now you need to end.
You need to just cut off some friendships. Why? Because the Bible warns about being closely linked, teamed up in a very close friendship, with people who have conflicting values.
2 Corinthians 6:15 (Living Bible) “Don’t be teamed with those who don’t love the Lord. How can light live with darkness? How can a Christian be a partner with one who doesn’t believe?”
I’m not saying you shouldn’t have any non-Christian friends. How are you going to tell them the good news of God’s love if you don’t befriend them.
But your closest friends, your confidants, the people you tell your hurts to and the people you spend the most time with better be headed in the same direction you are or they’re pulling you down. They’re limiting your life mission. 100% for the Lord…
You need to ask yourself a very tough question. Am I willing to disobey God, waste my life and lose eternal rewards in order to gain my friends approval?
If you’re choosing to put anybody in this world’s opinion above God and you care more about their approval than you do about God’s approval, that person has in essence become a god in your life.
The Bible calls that idolatry. And psychologists call it co-dependency. And it’s wrong.
You need to ask yourself some tough questions about your friends.
Are they helping my life mission or are they hindering it?
Are they building my values or are they tearing down my values?
Do they cause me to grow closer to God or do they cause me to grow away from God?
Any friend that draws you away from God is no friend. They’re not doing you any service. Your life is too important to waste. There’s one relationship that has to take priority above every other one. That’s your relationship to God.
Romans 5:11 (Living Bible) “We rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God – all because of what Jesus Christ has done in dying for our sins – making us friends of God!”
Today I want to encourage you to take two very important steps.
1. Commit Yourself to deepening your relationship to God.
2. Commit Yourself to deepening Your relationship with God’s family of believers in His church.
Prayer
Lord, I thank You for Your word and for how practical it is. Help me to find models to inspire me, mentors to advise me, partners to assist me and Friends that will support me. I pray that You would help us find relationships that make a difference, to not waste our lives in relationships that drag us down. For those in unhealthy ones today, help us to break them off and to commit to you. Help us to establish good, healthy relationships with You and with those who are going in the same direction. In Jesus’ name I pray. AMEN
